There are three tools I have shared with each of the managers who report to me, which they have found helpful for dealing with difficult people and situation. I hope you will find them helpful as well. The first is a tool I utilize when a manager or employee finds themselves at odds with others. Whenever I or someone who works for me finds themselves all alone on an issue and several reasonable colleagues are opposed, I ask my employees to do what I do, which is to stop myself and ask, “Why am I the only one believing ‘X’ when everyone else is believing ‘Y’? In other words, if I am pressing my team to go in a certain direction and they are not buying in to it, I have to take a step back and ask myself why. I have seen far too often where the boss believes everyone should just go along without questioning his decisions against the counsel and judgment of his team and counterparts.
Of course, a boss is free to press forward without buy in from his team, but what makes someone a leader is the fact that employees willingly follow. A true leader does not demand employees follow because he has authority, but because the employees trust him. That trust is built by listening to opposing viewpoints. Unless a moral issue is at stake, more often than not the person who is saying they are right and everyone else is wrong is the one who is in the wrong themselves. This is especially true if the same issue keeps coming up with different people involved. It’s irrational to believe everyone else is always wrong, stupid, or ill-informed in multiple situations. When I start to see this pattern in my employees and colleagues I bring in someone they respect to help them see that it really is them who may be in the wrong, not me, and not everyone else.
In my next two blog posts I plan to share the other two tools that have helped me as well as my managers to overcome obstacles. For example, surrounding chronically negative people in an organization with positive people and the most effective way to stop a workplace bully.
Thank you for reading my blog! Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
Reference
Robert Nellis' Public Employee Retention Blog 